Thanks for taking the time to respond to this article. I agree with you that being vulnerable can feel scary, which is why it is so important to acknowledge, and to deliberately create a space where you feel safe in any relationship.

I encourage you to keep up the good work, to believe in yourself, in your ability to take risks, and in the ultimate benefit of that openness where intimacy truly does arise.

Many blessings to you,

Janet

Thanks so much for your comments. I’m glad you found this article useful.

In answer to your question, when you feel that your partner uses your vulnerabilities in a way that is not helpful to the relationship it is often a good idea to identify it in the open. For example, you could state (in not-threatening language) how you feel when this occurs. Usually you will feel either unsafe or in some way uncomfortable.

So, without pointing fingers at all, you can simply state “When you say that it makes me feel unsafe in our relationship. I don’t want that, and (giving your partner the benefit of the doubt) I know that is not what you intended. So, can we have this conversation differently so that we both feel safe and nurtured?”

Many times gently pointing out what is occurring, without blame or accusation, can bring this content into the open in your relationship where you can work with it and come to new agreements that benefit both of you.

I hope that answers your question, and I wish you and your partner all the best in your relationship.

Warmly,

Janet

I believe she uses Vulnerability often towards me! How can I deal with that without damaging our relationship with her?